Doing some prep for our intern (apprentices) training, came across this good insight from Peter Brain:
Assertiveness will first help me to claim my right to say ‘no’, and then willingly give up that right and respond to the request. No longer will I view the request as a demand I cannot possibly escape, but a request that I am free to respond to if I so choose. To offer a person a sacrifice of time or energy, it must first be mine to offer.
When I feel that a demand must be met because of the asker’s expectations, then I can only say ‘yes’ begrudgingly. In this case a certain amount of bitterness and anger will be present. Guilt may well be mingled with bitterness if I actually enjoyed what I did, or the recipient was particularly grateful and full of praise. When I realise that I can say ‘no’ to demands and expectations, I can then willingly give my ‘yes’ without feeling pressured. Freedom follows sacrifice that is freely given.
Peter Brain, Going the Distance, 45
In Anticipation 